Stories from women who are still waiting,
or waited on God’s timing after 25.
It all started when I was 16. I was in high school and needed to start picking my classes for college and start the application process. I sat there and struggled to come up with what to do. All I had ever wanted to be was a wife and a stay at home mom. Having a Dutch background (being cheap and all), I didn’t want to spend money on a program when my ultimate goal was to be a wife and a mom. But my parents told me that I needed to go to school because until then, I had to do something. So I did and I am glad I did because here I am 15 years later at the age of 31, single and for the sake of honesty, never been asked out. You have women in this world that struggle with infertility but you also have women that struggle with singleness. You will have people in your life that receive the blessing you have always wanted and you have a choice to make on how you react to that.
I have a brother and a sister. When it came to our futures and what family looked like, we all had different desires. My brother wanted to be a bachelor for life. My sister wanted to be a mom. And then there was me. I wanted to be a wife first and a mom. As my brother shared the news he was getting married and becoming an instant dad to 3, part of me was happy for him but the other part was jealous. As the years went on, then came my sister’s turn. The person who only ever talked about children and not the husband part until she met her now husband. Here were 2 people I love deeply in my life getting the very thing I had dreamed of for as long as I can remember. I thought “Why not me?”
People time and time again look at me and say, “God has someone in store for you.” or “In His timing, God will bring someone into your life.” or “When you least expect it, that is when he will come.” Sometimes I would let my sarcasm respond with things like “God has a lot of work to do in him if he is going to have to put up with me for the rest of his life.” or “If God did have someone for me, he has probably been hit by a truck.” But in all honesty, I don’t know if marriage is something that will ever happen. God doesn’t promise everyone marriage. But despite what I used to think, being single is not a bad thing.
Over the past year or so God has showed me how amazing this season can be. It opens me to other opportunities. My life hasn’t stopped because I am single. Being single is just as much of a blessing as being married. There are things that I am doing as a single person that I wouldn’t be able to do if I was married. I have journeyed to a number of countries, two of which have a large part of my heart. I have been able to give my time to youth ministry along with other things. God has also grown me in the view I have of myself. The thought of loving someone unconditionally for the rest of my life has never scared me. It is something that I actually look forward to. The part that God has shown me is that I didn’t believe that someone could love me that way back. In my thinking, I had too many things about me that would make a guy realize that they made a mistake in choosing me. (Plus I wasn’t the type of girl that the movies said a guy would fall for. I’m not the skinny, make up wearing girly girl type. I’m the Leafs watching, camping, hoodie wearing, superhero movie type. I fall in high heels and own about 5 pairs of shoes.) But the opposite was true. God Himself has seen the best and worst in me, the normal and the crazy and loves me with a love that is incomparable to anything else.
My identity isn’t based on my marital status. There is a season for everything and for as long as He has me placed in this season, I choose to embrace it. I am single, but Christ is enough for me and He has given me an even greater identity. I am a a child of God. I am a daughter of the One True King. Being single doesn’t mean facing this world on your own. God has been with me every step of the way and so have the people He has placed in my life. My ultimate goal has changed from desiring to be a wife and mom to having God say to me, “Well done good and faithful servant.”
The single life isn’t a life to dread. It is a life that you can have your focus completely on God’s calling for your life. You can find joy in your Creator. The love that you may desire is nothing compared to the perfect love of Christ. The amazing thing is, all the quirks that you have and the things that make you you, are the exact things that He loves about you. You were created by God for a purpose. So live it.
I just wanted to leave a few verses for you to be reminded of:
1 Samuel 16:7 – For the LORD does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.
Psalm 139:13-14 – For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Colossians 3:1-3 – If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth. For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God
This first Her Story is written by my close and sweet friend Krista, it is a privilege and honour to have her as a friend and I’m so thankful for her heart for God and passion for life!
(If you or someone you know would like to write a post for Her Story, feel free to contact me!)