Her Story:

Coffee with my 25-year-old self.

I am a hopeless romantic. I was that teenage girl who dreamed of wearing a beautiful white gown, marrying prince charming, and living happily ever after, and all by the time I was 25. I even thought I would have a child or two by then. So when my 25th birthday came along and non of that had happened I was pretty disappointed. Ultimately I didn’t get married until I was 32, but God gave me a wonderful man and three beautiful children.

If I were to sit down today with my 25-year-old self, these are the things I would teach her and say that I have learned:

1. Being married or being in a relationship does not define you.

I think life is a continual process of learning about ourselves and who God wants us to be, we need to continue to search, grow, and develop. When I think back, I realize that a lot of the time before I got married, I just spent coasting along waiting for that day and thinking I would be complete when it finally happened. I wasn’t concentrating on defining myself or really discovering who God wanted me to be.

2. Trust in the Lord

Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord and He will give you your hearts desires.”(NLT) This has always been one of my favourite verses and it became my theme in my late 20s. My hearts desire was to get married and have a family, surely God would give me this. When my 30th birthday came and went, I was starting to wonder. I had a lot of conversations with God about it and I finally got to the place where I said “Ok God, maybe these things are not what you want for me, I’m not happy about it, but I’ll go with it.” Our desires aren’t always what God desires for us, but if we are willing to let Him, He will make His desires for us become our hearts desires.

3. The wedding isn’t the prize, it’s just the beginning of the race.

Marriage is hard work and it’s not a fairytale. It is certainly very rewarding but is something that you can’t take for granted. The old saying “You don’t really know someone until you live with them.” is very true. There will be a lot of things you learn about each other and have to work through. We recently had a series of messages on marriage at our church and our pastor said “A lot of people don’t want to put work into it, they just want it to work.” We have to choose to show love to our spouse everyday, even when we don’t feel like it.


He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. Ecclesiastes 3:11

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